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Author / Michelle Howie

Love tastes like space: a short story

He pushes me to answer, wants to hear my voice wrap meaning around his fragile idea. Wants words to act like glue and bandage. I don’t respond, not ready yet, so he pushes me again. “What is love? Put it in your own words, come on. You’re the book worm, you’ve read enough to have an idea. We’re in love, aren’t we” (a statement), “…so how would you define it?” The room does a cool trick where it goes small and big at the same time. Dizzy.CONTINUE READING
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Sugar Baby, short fiction published by Flash Frontier

“Her outfit is so sweet!” Everyone always says so. It must be true. Some comfort to Jen that she is able to dress her baby well. So little else is going well. But clothes, headbands and tiny socks are sweet as. Sweet outfit. Can you taste the icing sugar on Jamie-Kay playsuits? Does the delicate ribbon disappear on the tongue like an edible garnish? Is the soft pink mitten just the colour of a sugared almond, or can you crack off one tiny finger and smash through to the nutty core? “Flat white?” Jen jumps. The waitress gives her an odd look, then turns to the prize in the pushchair after the cup hits the table. Jen is left staring at her bent back, stranded on the couch where mums sit, separated from her baby but not that worried.CONTINUE READING
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Anxiety and our experience of it

The online Oxford dictionary defines anxiety as “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” There has been a lot of uncertainty in 2020! Are there more people experiencing anxiety? We are a long way from having hard data on the impacts of COVID-19 on our wellbeing but anecdotal evidence suggests most people have felt a bit more worry, nervousness or unease. Yet life is actually always uncertain, we’ve been dealing with uncertainty our whole lives. Covid-19 has just rather abruptly brought a focus on uncertainty. So what is anxiety, how do we experience it and what can we do?CONTINUE READING
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The Power of Rediscovery

Few of us realise how smart we already are. As babies, we learnt to walk and talk. We did this naturally. We figured out balance, coordination, communication and relationships with very little formal teaching. Those that love us marvelled at this intelligence, we were cheered on and celebrated for the smart little beings that we were. At some stage in our development, adults inserted themselves into the process and suddenly our learning was handed over to teachers who claimed to know more than we did. The intelligence that had been developing quite naturally was now no longer to be trusted, it seemed. It’s a bizarre concept to see written in print.CONTINUE READING
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Category:Learning, Wisdom

Resilience and Shower Spiders

There’s spider living in my shower at the moment. ​ This spider is tenacious. It has woven its delicate web all over my bars of soap and shampoo. And when I need to break the fine strands of gossamer thread to retrieve my bar of soap each morning, the spider scuttles away from dripping water, shelters for a while, then comes back out to rebuild it all once I am gone. This spider got me thinking.CONTINUE READING
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Category:Resilience

Thoughts That Don’t Stick

I woke up at 5am with great big thoughts. This happened on Friday 5 July 2019.  The date and the time are very clear to me, because the thoughts were so big and so vivid that I felt sure it would be one of those unforgettable moments in my life. So much certainty, in that moment. These were big thoughts. At the time of writing this, I am four days ‘post-moment' and things look different now. Sorry for the buzz-kill, this is not a particularly exciting blog about a momentous insight and how life changed forever at 5am on 5 July. This is a pretty ordinary blog about what happened to my thoughts between 5 July and 9CONTINUE READING
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Climbing the Hill

This morning I climbed the Hakarimata summit track alone. To put that in context, I've only done the track about a dozen times in total over the last 12 months so there is no pattern of regular habit here. I have never gone alone before, I normally go with Shawn my husband and once we did it with the kids...very slowly.  It's a beautiful track, filled with birdsong and bush. It's nature's gym these days, a well-worn track used by many, many local people pursuing physical goals or simply aiming for the view from the top. CONTINUE READING
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Why I Give

When the business began to keep me consistently busy I made a commitment to donate annually to charity. Last December I made my first donation – a humble $50 to Brainwave Aotearoa Trust. Here’s the post. This decision falls out of some introspective work I did in 2016 around my long-term goals – and it also reflects all the learnings I have taken from the hardest (best?) times of my life. Let me explain… ​CONTINUE READING
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